Well, for many, many days it's sometimes very challenging to smile. I find myself more and more depressed these days. I'm just dealing with a lot.

So today we took a mini roadtrip. My mom had a paid day off work. She was supposed to go to a Tiger's game, but she didn't want to do that. Instead, we went up to Birch Run and Frankenmuth. We only go up there so many times a year. Usually around someone's birthday, cause they get a free birthday dinner at Zehnder's. Anyway, it was just for fun.

We always stop at Cracker Barrel for breakfast. We got a late start, so we had breakfast around 11:30, lol. Then we went and shopped at Birch Run. It's basically outlet stores. Sort of. Anyway, i was just prepared to look a few places. Mainly for Bri. I just wanted to see if I could get some cheap clothes for school. And I did! $3.99 for stuff. Not bad.

And honestly, I've been looking for shorts for a while. I never seem to be able to find any that fit just right. So I tried some on today. ha. My daughter was in the dressing room with me and she goes, "Those look great on you, mommy" and the lady next to us said, "Can I borrow her?", lol. So they were a bit pricy. Normally spending $30 for capris (close enough to shorts, lol) is a no no for me. But they fit and they made me feel good and I've been trying to find something exactly like them for a long time. So i bought them.

And It made me smile.

Becuase I'm having a rough patch in that department, feeling happy with myself and my body and all that. And, well, that helped.

And then we went into Zehnder's for lunch. And there was something there that made me proud of myself too, but I won't get into all that here.

I got some pictures, like I normally do. Listened to music on the way home. Other than some ding dong drivers, the day was very good! And I am happy! And that feels good to me. And I will keep going. I've been sad and depressed, but I'm meeting my goals and I'm trying and I'm figuring out solutions to things and I had fun and that makes me happy.

It just feels good.

Going on a mini road trip, of sorts. I'm excited. 

So picture time!

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I was working on the blurring thing again. I just thought this was slightly cool.

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Had to have the fence, but it was like a beautiful flower in jail. Gave me thoughts...

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Loved the expression.

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The sky was so pretty this one night. it didn't come out super well in the pics, but it was beautiful.

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Hope you all have a wonderul Hump Day!

Took my daughter out today to play in the sprinkler. The kids next door were out playing in their slip and slide.

Somehow, we ended up having a water fight. lol

My paid yard worker came over to take some pics with my camera and she was showing me some, when I felt a bunch of cold water on my butt. Bri got me. So then, Hailey decided she would just take more pics of Brianna splashing me with water, lol. Of course, Bri went after hailey and she had my camera, so that was no good! lol

Anyway, it was a good day to get wet and fun. But man, I really do need to get a bathing suit. Said I would, but can't afford it right now.  And by the time I can get one, it'll probably be fall! Ha!

Lets get mommy... This kinda just made me laugh. lol

 

I'm actually getting a lot accomplished. I'm actually meeting my goals. That's great.

And I am just pissed off and frustrated with just about everything.

Go figure.

The good news is I haven't let my pissy attitude take me down the failure road, once again. I'm just doing what I need to do, incredibly irritated and pissed off. But at least I'm doing it.

That is some improvement.

 

So, Summer officiallly started around here a few days ago, once school let out.

My daughter likes to torture, i mean play, with the neighbor kids. In all fairness, they torture her just as much, lol. But it drives me crazy at times. The two boys are the younger ones and there's still a significant age gap there and they usually end up fighting. I say they are like real brother and sister and my daughter sighed and said, "I want a brother and a dog".

Speaking of dogs...

There's this little white dog that lives a few houses down. This man always takes this little dog for a walk and he has stopped to let Brianna pet her. Anyway, while I'm trying to get Bri to quit bugging the kids next door, this little dog races into our back yard. She sniffs bri, sniffs me and races around and back out front. I figured she got off her leash and the man would either come in our yard and get her or she'd race back out to him. Well, I didn't go in the front yard to make sure that was the case. I just let her go...

Turns out, I was wrong. the kids next door came over and tried to get a hold of her, but she raced into the street, right in front of a car. thankfully, the car stopped and waited. but the dog kept circling the car and the car was starting to hesitantly move. The dog seemed so unfazed by it. The kids kept calling her and trying to get her back and then... she raced right out by 14 mile road. Thankfully, she didn't go racing into the road full of cars, but along the sidewalk. Boy was she fast. Then I just felt terrible. I kept looking for that man and he was no where.

I just hope the dog is okay.

I think knowing, now, that I could have let the dog sniff me long enough to where I could pick her up, she would be safe and I feel like an idiot for not doing that.

I remember when I had my dog. I was in 4th grade when we got her. She didn't get too big, but she was a strong little thing and didn't listen well. My mom told me I was too little to take her for walks. I don't know who let me do it, probably my dad, but she got away from me. I chased her, as she ran right to the same road, 14 mile, and I jumped and landed on the leash and got her. But you know how terrible that would've been if she had kept running and I couldn't have gotten her?

Yeah. She got lucky. I got lucky.

I hope this little dog got lucky too and that the family finds her.

You know, never fails...  The medical people can NEVER find a good vein in me and I always bruise. The vampires wanted my blood. She couldn't find a good vein. Said it was too deep. So she went  off more to the side of my arm. I was a brave girl . Anyway, she bruised me! I always bruise! lol

Ha, when I was preggo and had to go do that stupid glucose test, the guy blew my vein pretty darn good. I had a big bad bruise on my arm and it lasted a while! *Not to mention, they marked the wrong thing, so I had to do the whole friggin 3 hour test, when I was just supposed to be there for the stupid simple glucose test. Ugh. That was a pain*

and then there was all the blood plasma junk I did. They could only use one arm and the one time, the girl went completely through my vein and so when they returned the blood, it hurt like hell.

And one time when I was in the hospital, they couldn't even find a good vein, so they went through my hand instead. Ouch.

I couldn't eat for 12 hours and all I could think was the last time i was in the hospital and they took blood, everything went black and I woke up in a cold sweat. I'm like, why you take my blood and starve me all day? and then that  happened when I donated plasma, too. The first time. I got really woozy and someone had to fan me while they turned back the machine so it returned stuff to me, lol. Then I was warned tht if it happened again, I wouldn't be able to donate. And I can't donate now anyway, cause of my darn heart. boo.

At least that didn't happen today.

In other news, the balloon fest is coming up! Woohoo!

So we decided that we would get the arm bands this year. There's a bunch of rides and stuff and you can buy the tickets, but the rides are like 4 tickets a person and you go through your whole sheet super fast. So the armbands are pretty pricey, but... much better deal! Well, me being miss prepared, I looked online and it said you could go to their website to save $$ on tickets and stuff. They would originally be $22 a band, but online they are $16!!!!! So that goes from $44 down to the $32. and considering you have to pay  $14 for parking and buy food, any little savings is good!

 I feel pleased with myself.

Apparently we had storms last night. I was so out of it, I heard absolutely nothing!

That's odd...

And, I got some pictures today...

 

 

 

You know what a blogging moment is? It's a moment in time that doesn't fucking matter, that's what.

In a week, in a month and especially a year, is it really going to matter what the hell you post on the internet?

Nooooo

So what's the point?

I'm starting to fail to see it.

You can sit at your computer and pour your heart out or share something exciting or whatever and really... NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

I post plenty on facebook that no one gives a shit about, so why is this any fucking different?

Eh. I'm not downloading my damn archives. All of this? Just one moment after another that means absolutely nothing, in the grand scheme of things.

Oh, good to just simply express onesself, I suppose.

Unless you begin to just truly hate yourself. Then, what does any of it matter?

In the end, nothing matters. Nothing really truly matters.

So fuck it.

The end.

 

I've shared this story before, but...

My little puppy oreo...  When I was in 4th grade, another schoolmate's mother had brought in a litter of puppies that she was trying to find homes for. I so wanted one. So I begged and begged and begged my mother for one.

Well, she agreed. we had a "family meeting" to pick out a name. I wanted midnight. Everyone else wanted oreo. She had a patch of white fir down her chest, so we thought of an oreo. made sense. and the name fit her. Anyway, I never knew why my mom agreed to get her, until we had to put her to sleep...

We had come back home for a vacation, after I had moved to vegas. It was right after i found out I was pregnant. well, she was having health issues and we had tried to... do something. Paid for tests. But things just kept getting worse for her. So we knew it was time.

Anyway, after that, I found out exactly why my mom agreed to get her. She thought having a dog would help me, since my dad was being mean to me.

I guess he wasn't always shy about being mean to me.

Anyway, so I think of her as my little angel dog, because I loved having her to cuddle with when I was sad or not. She made things better.

And it's days like now that i really actually miss her, because I could certainly use my little cuddle buddy.

Oh, but I have anakin. I can hold him and cry, too, but... she was my first dog and I'll never forget her. And I kinda need her today.

Oh well.

Nothing in life lasts forever. That's a good thing and a bad thing. Such is life.

Dun, dun dun.... It's another Grumpy Monday! Time to get your grump on.

That's not hard for me, today.  I might be miss grumpy pants for the next 4 days!

LOL

Things that make me grumpy...

Never ending ringing phones. Sometimes, I want to just throw them into the wall.

People who talk on their cell phone while doing EVERYTHING. Gosh darnit, you. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND GET YOUR GROCERIES CHECKED OUT. Don't be a rude turd. And for the love of god people, blue tooth. quit talking while driving. You have options. effing use them!

When the cat uses the litter box at 6 am and wakes you up with what seems like the never ending scratching.

or when cats strart fighting, growling and hissing at each other, and wake you up.

A bad cup of coffee. Enough to make me hurl.

WordPress, facebook and any other "blogging" place. WordPress is making me depressed. facebook is weird. Xanga is where it's at. If xanga goes down, I will be epically grumpy.  Oh and what do you know? July 15 is a monday...

Oh and people who can't make up their mind about friendships. You're either in or you're out. if you're in, great. if you're out, stay the f### out. Thank you. I don't have time for your flip flopping bullshit.

Have a good grumpy day, all!