*sigh*

Well, the other day we were outside playing after school. My daughter went over to play with the kids next door. They kicked the soccer ball over our fence so lucky me had to go get it and throw it back over. In the process of doing that, I spotted something lying in the grass. It certainly looked like an animal, but I was confused! So I go check it out and it’s a raccoon! And it wasn’t dead. It was alive, but it couldn’t move much. It looked pretty sick.

Anywho, after learning that raccoons can be vicious and what not, and I don’t really want rabies, I backed away from it.

My mom called the county and they said it had to “distemper” and we should let nature take its course and then, once it died, double bag it and get rid of it.

So she called the city. A police officer came over to take a look and what not.

So he sees the raccoon and he goes, “Oh yeah! Well, this is what is going to happen. I’m going to have to shoot it and unfortunately it has to be done here. Just keep your kids away from the window”

So after retrieving 2 large garbage bags and a shovel (and in the process of getting the shovel, knocking a bunch of stuff down and making a ton of noise), I go inside and eventually hear not one gunshot, but two.

I know it’s good the raccoon is not suffering anymore, but dang!

So the nice police officer bagged up the raccoon and put it in his trunk and took it somewhere. and there is a nice pile of dirt in the yard, probably to cover up the blood.

Gotta say, that’s a first! I’ve never been that close to a raccoon and I’ve never had anything happen like that in my yard!

But still… poor raccoon

Did this workout…

“deceptively challenging” she says. Huh! Yup, it was! lol

I was sweating. And I was surprised. I thought, oh good, a nice relaxing, workout. But nope! You get worked! And it does feel good. It’s like all the elements of exercise that are amazing all in one package.

I thought it was only 30 minutes, but I was wrong. It was 45 and I thought it was never going to end, lol, but that’s because I was sweating and a bit breathless and… yeah. But it did feel sooooo good! I have another video by her.I think she’s amazing. I love her energy!

Other than that, stayed busy. I have a checklist of things every day and, while I didn’t accomplish all of what I have set out to do, I did accomplish some. And while I could beat myself up for having not done all of them, I feel like I should celebrate what I did accomplish.

haha…

I wanted to do a new post, but I have nothing to say… All I really want to do is puke.

so there. there’s another pointless post.

Heh, my birthday isn’t for a while, BUT, I know what I want! LOL. Will I actually get it? Well, that’s a crap shoot! But a girl can dream

An ipod! A blue one! I learned that those little suckers have more to offer than just music and now I understand the price tag! lol *There’s a lot I don’t know*

But yep!

In other news, I am sick! I need my cough drops, some tea and some tv and rest. I hope that by next week, I can make up some new plan to get me through these days. We shall see.

I was looking at this picture, the other night, and I started to tear up. Yeah anyway… lol

Back when I was 18, out of highschool, not sure what to do with myself, my sister helped me come up with a college plan. Without even thinking about all the other details, cough money, that go into college, she helped me plan all 4 years, with what classes I would be taking and what not.

My major was going to be Criminology and I was going to go to Eastern Michigan University.

Obviously, that did not happen! But, it was fun thinking about how we sat down and planned it all out!

While I did some study in psychology, nothing I could ever get a job with. I thought I wanted to be a social worker and then quickly changed my mind.

My sister went for Early Childhood, because our church was pressuring kids to go off to christian colleges and, though she really wanted to be a nurse, their nursing program had a big wait. So instead of following her true dream, she went for early childhood for 2 years. Then she decided that, no, she wanted to be a nurse, and did a two year program at the community college for nursing.

She is now a nurse on the mother/baby unit. She used to work on the burn unit. *shudders*

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a “title”. “I’m a nurse. I’m a firefighter. I’m a computer programmer. I’m an artist. I’m a photogrpher. I’m a personal trainer”. Etc… on and on.

But aside from wanting to be a “rock scientist”, in the second grade, my next big choice was to study criminal justice and be a detective. And yet… I still don’t have any idea what I truly want to do, lol. Go figure.

Well kinda. You know, I almost feel kinda safe her, publicly ranting about the deep stuff I feel. Because this place feels so… empty. That’s why it feels safe. But then if I really pay attention I’m like, gulp, I shouldn’t feel so safe doing that, lol. Oops.

Oh well. I feel lost anywhere I go.

So I hope some of you xangans are all well!

There is not any medication, or any amount of therapy, or any number of hugs that will ever, ever, ever take this pain away. It’s haunting. It’s torture. And I am stuck. I drag through my days. But I’m still here. But this holding on and being strong stuff? Yeah… not sure how much longer I want to do it.

Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t go as far as to say she is “fat shaming”, however…. There are those who think people getting up in arms over this picture are nuts.

So here are my thoughts.

First, I’m happy for this woman. She has obviously tained hard, she looks good and she’s passionate about something and makes time for it, with 3 young boys.

Secondly, I do, however, take issue with the “what’s your excuse”.

No two lives are the same. And some moms out there can train all they want and they STILL won’t look like HER after having 3, or even less, kids.

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

I thought we knew that by now, but whatever. This is the society we live in.

women have a ton of pressure on themselves to get back to there pre baby weight. We hear about it endlessly. Celebrities are “back in shape” after so many mere weaks, even though they have access to the best trainers and tons of money to boot.

The point is, WHY DO WE CONTINUE TO PRESSURE WOMEN WTIH STUPID IDEALS!

You may not have washboard abs. You may not want to train like an athlete. Maybe you’re so stressed out, that the idea of just getting 30 minutes of a workout in a day is ENOUGH. You should be happy with that.

What’s their excuse? Please…

So yeah, when I saw this picture, I took it one way and maybe other moms took it another. Some maybe find this positive inspiration and if that’s the case then good. I however know others will just feel MORE pressure, feel WORSE about themselves.

And to me, that is not a good message at all. Intended or not, it came across. And that is not positive. At all.