Month: July 2013

  • Xanga Love!

    I never planned any type of “last post”, but this I guess might be my “last” one, at least on Xanga 1.0. I’m still hopeful for xanga 2.0 and I will NOT give up that hope!

    But I do want to say that It’s been a great 9 years here. I’ve met some of the most amazing people, who have been a god send to me, I swear. Many of you have listened to me rant about the same stuff over and over and you’re still not sick of me winky. We’ve laughed and joked and cried and been there for each other! I could always come here. when stuff was tough at home, I could just hop on xanga and get it out!

    In the last year and a half, I’ve kind of… “blossomed” in my photography hobby. I have LOVED coming here to share that, because you guys have always been supportive and cared. It was not the same sharing them any place else.

    “There is no place like home”. This was a great home for 9 years. I only hope it continues in some way!

    Thanks for all the xanga love! I will always have love for xanga.

    Much love to all you awesome xangans.


  • Contact Junk

    I’m still stubornly holding out for xanga 2.0. Even if it works, I know some people aren’t coming back. Ummm Most have already left, but for those of you who stuck to the end, well, we all know who the true xangans are winky. We rock! We really do!

    Anyway, I never jumped ship. I created a wordpress BEFORE xanga ever announced anything and I was just going to keep it to myself, but I have opened it up for xangans. And I would have kept it going anyway and still will, so if you want to follow me there, you can.

    And then there’s facebook…

    I’m hoping that will work, lol.

    Anyway, that’s it.

    Oh, if you want to email, it’s

    That’s it! My wordpress isn’t blogging like I blogged here, so if xanga 2.0 somehow doesn’t make it, I will figure out what to do from there. Probably live journal. Or something. But right now, this is it for me. And xanga 2.0 must come into existence, for that reason! 

    I hate having to do this again, but it is what it is… 

  • This has been on my heart…

    This has been on the News, so maybe some of you have heard about this, but…

    There was a bus accident in Indiana, that killed 3 people. It was a church group, coming home from a week at camp. They came to a camp here in Northern Michigan. it’s a camp I’ve been to many times. Camp CoBeAc (stands for, Come, believe, Accept). Anyway, they were so close to home when the bus crashed and killed 3 people.

    The youth pastor and his wife were killed, and she was expecting their second child, due next month. They also had their almost 2 year old son with them, but he survived. The poor child lost both of his parents. sad And they were only in their mid 20′s.

    The other one killed was a mom of 5, who had gone to camp with her special needs child.

    It’s just so… sad.

    Life is just so short and you just never know.

    But if you’re the praying type, just pray for the families who lost someone.

    God’s way is best, they say, but this type of stuff just doesn’t make sense to me…

    I just feel for those kids… sad

  • Sometimes, there just are no words…

  • Be Bold or Italic, Never Regular

    This is something I posted on my wordpress. There are times where I can sit and really let my feelings kind of… flow. And this was one of those times. I’ve mentioned before how I listen to music when I blog, sometimes? Yeah. Sometimes music helps my thoughts flow and it helps take me to a … better place. I wanted to share this here, too. And I printed this out for myself, because I figure if I read it everyday… bad moment or not… It can be a constant reminder of what I’m working on and that I can do it…


    I got this notebook at target that has on the front, “Be Bold, Or Italic … Never Regular”. When I looked at it, I thought that seeing that everyday would help motivate me in the right direction. It’s probably safe to say that I’m not “regular”.

    I’ve always been a pretty naturally pessimistic person. I would always see the glass as half empty. I always tend to look towards the negative and give into all my anxieties about everything. I get very hard on myself and let that “perfectionism” get the best of me, a lot of the times. I’m too scared to even try…

    But I figure I can think one of two ways…

    I can shoot for the stars and hope the fall back to earth doesn’t hurt too badly

    Or I can shoot for the stars, not knowing where I will end up, and be proud that I actually tried.

    I read this today…

    “I want to remember that no one is going to make my dreams come true for me… It is my job to get up everyday and work toward the things that are deepest in my heart… and to enjoy every step of the journey, rather than wishing I was already where I want to end up.”

    That last part stuck out to me. I’ve embarked on many a journey, in my personal life. And I’m not a very patient person. I’m so eager to be “done” and be where I want to be, living the life I feel I should be living.

    And when do we learn the most? On the journey to that point.

    And even if I never make it to where I think I “should” be going, there is NO telling where that journey will take me. Maybe it will take me to an even better place than I could have expected.

    So here’s to living a bold life. Going for it… And to enjoying every step along the way.

    Who knows where I’m going. But it sure as hell will be better than where I am now. Every step forward is progress. Every step forward is beautiful.

  • Dream Interpretations

    So I need to go mow the lawn, even though I’m sore and don’t feel like it. whatevah But I’m smart and do it on the coolest day of the week and I missed that yesterday, so might as well take the stupid chance today. I hate grass. did I mention I hated grass?

    Sooo I did this before, where I looked up interpreations to my dreams. So I decided to do that one the ones I talked about yesterday.

    The first dream with the racy pics on facebook, my gramma and being publicly shamed like that, I went with the word “shame”, because in the dream that’s what I felt. And that’s what was happening, was I was being shamed.

    To feel shame in your dream signifies waking feelings of
    guilt, insecurity or low esteem that has carried over into the dream world.
    Perhaps you feel you have failed yourself or others.

    The next dream was that I was, basically, a prostitute and had sex with my 4th grade teacher. shocked *barf*

    To dream that you are a prostitute indicates your
    desires for more sexual freedom/expression and sexual power. You want to be less
    inhibited and explore other areas of sexuality. Perhaps your waking ideology
    about sex is too rigid. On a negative side, to dream that you are a prostitute
    suggests that you are harboring feelings of guilt toward a relationship. You are
    having difficulties integrating love and sexuality. Alternatively, the dream may
    be a metaphor suggesting that you are “prostituting” yourself in some situation,
    either emotionally or morally. Are you selling yourself in some way?

    To dream that you are having sex with a teacher implies that there are still things you need to learn when it comes to sex.

    had to take a moment to laugh a little… laughing Okay, moving on… where was I?

    Next dream was my gramma dying in my arms…

    To dream about the death of a loved one suggests that
    you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask
    yourself what makes this person special or what you like about them. It is that
    very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances.
    Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no
    part in your own life anymore.�In particular, to dream about the death of your
    living parents indicates that you are undergoing a significant change in your
    waking life. Your relationship with your parents has evolved into a new
    realm.�If you dream about the death of a child, then it implies that you need to
    let go of your immaturity and start being more serious. As your child reaches
    certain milestones and grows into an adult, dreaming of their death may be
    symbolic of their own self-discovery, transition and transformation into a new
    stage of life.

    Then the dream where the guy wants to blow up my house, but trashes it instead. Even in my dream, the word burglary stood out to me, because someone was going into my home and doing something they shouldn’t have been doing…

    To dream that you have been burglarized indicates that
    you are feeling violated or that personal space has been invaded. You feel
    helpless in some situation or relationship. This could be due to a major change
    in your life. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new environment. The
    dream may also occur as a result of being burglarized in real life and a symptom
    of post traumatic stress.�

    the other element to that dream that stood out, was birth control and how angry I got over him screwing with my birth control pills…

    To see or use contraceptive in your dream suggests that
    you are refusing to let your creativity emerge from beneath the surface. You are
    holding back some aspect of yourself. The contraceptive may be a metaphor for
    protection against emotional hurt. Alternatively, it signifies your anxieties
    about pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

    And then of course I was raped in that dream, becuase he screwed with my birth control. Pfft. I’ve had plenty of rape dreams, so this is nothing new…

    To dream that you were raped or almost raped indicates
    vengeful or resentful feelings toward the opposite sex. You feel that you have
    been violated or that you have been taken advantage of. Something or someone is
    jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Things are being forced
    upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in
    their waking life.

    But to end on a more positive note, I did blog about that dream where I was giving some guy a blow job? Well… it was a while ago, but I’ll interpret that one for ya!

    To dream that you are giving or receiving oral sex
    signifies your willingness to give or receive pleasure/joy. It is symbolic of
    your creative energy and reaffirms that you are headed in the right direction in
    life. The dream may also be a pun on “talking about sex.” Perhaps, you need to
    communicate with your mate about your sexual needs and desires. Or you are
    acting out your sexual wishes.

    Alrighty, well, there ya have it! And to think! I was going to post pictures instead!

    This is from the little road trip to Ohio.

    cool Coolness factor comes from Michigan. I saw a “made in michigan” sign and I wanted a picture of it SOOO bad. Since I was made in Michigan… winky

    Anyway, I gotta go mow my lawn… how did this become italic?

  • Strange Dreams

    So for days in a row, I’ve had dreams that I can actually remember and they’re all quite… strange.

    First dream, my gramma had gotten hold of some “racy” pictures of me and posted them on facebook. See, she was requesting “prayer” for people and I was just one of a few. She posted several pictures of me and then said, “Please pray for my granddaughter, who doesn’t have much self respect or know her worth”.


    Second dream, I was having sex for money and the guy I was with was my 4th grade teacher. shocked Needless to say, that one left me creeped out.

    Third dream, my gramma was sick and fell and I was holding her in my arms as she was dying. Also strange.

    Then last night I had a dream that this guy, not sure who he was, wanted to come blow up our house. He was blackmailing us. Well anyway, I got what I needed out of the house and we were leaving, as he showed up to do his business. turns out he had no luck blowing up the house, so he instead just trashed the house. We went back and saw the damage. He certainly did make a mess. It wasn’t until I realized that he had screwed with my birth control pills, that I got really pissed and went and started beating on him. Like how dare you mess with my birth control pills! lol  So then he ties me up, rapes me, just because he knew he messed with my BC pills and…. yeah….


    Gotta love messed up dreams.


  • Runnin’ off

    Toledo, first. Then Sandusky.

    Yay Ohio.