November 13, 2013
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I Once...
I apologize for my endless amounts of ranting, but i just have too right now. I will post pictures or something positive soon, I promise.
I once was an apartment manager. I held down that job and earned HALF, yes HALF, of our income. At first, my husband kept his cab driving job, so we'd have insurance and extra cash, but eventually he quit and managed with me, but he did maintenance. I may not have been in different apartments, doing random maintenance jobs, but believe me... office work at an apartment is also pretty damn complicated.
You take complaints. Maintenance complaints, noise complaints, etc...
You take rent payments. We did not have computers for that. it was all in a ledger book. All by hand. I did that. It was quite a system, but I was used to that and okay with it.
You show apartments and try and "sell" them to people. answer questions.
Answer the phones
You try to keep a bunch of people happy and, believe me, it's not always possible.
You deal with crazy shits.
And really, I'm just happy that 85% of the tenants were decent human beings. but you always have the crazy ones who slip through. I would try my hardest to keep out the crazies, but people can fool you.
My point though is, my husband really talks down to me. He talked down to me then, he still talks down to me. And you can say, "Just leave, Megan". And I wouldn't disagree with that. But when you're scared of someone, it can be complicated. I'm working on getting strength. Until then, this is my frustration coming out.
I eventually had Brianna. While I'm trying to heal from giving birth, try and breastfeed my baby, hold her and bond with her, I still had to care for the office. I didn't get no stupid maternity leave. Pssh.
I EARNED half of our income. And yet, when we had a discussion about which type of juice we prefered, and I mentioned that I preffered bottled juice to frozen, my husband says to me, "Well, you can get a job and pay for it yourself".
AND I WAS WORKING, DAMNIT.
I had to call him and get permission to get an effing nursing bra! A NURSING BRA!
*^#%^
I remember after we were first married, I wanted to get a CD. Yes, a $12 CD. And granted, at the time, I didn't work, but I was SOOO scared to ask him if I could get it. So scared. My voice was shaking, I was almost in tears asking him and he let me.
BUT WHY SHOULD I FEEL THAT WAY?!?!?!
i recently made a purchase and got told that, "since you don't earn the money..."
And he has also said that if I want a specific car, I need to get a job and pay for it.
I at one time did earn half of our money.
And I have been taking care of our child.
And I guess I don't deserve shit.
Comments (5)
You are a human being - and deserve respect.
There are different models for how a marriage should work. Seems like your husband is bent on using a model from the 19th century - and you are in the 21st century.
Regardless of the model used - respect and love should be the driver. Seems missing here...
That is complete bull crap!!!! No offense to you husband but he sounds like a complete ... no I can't say that because it would be an insult to donkeys everywhere.
My wife doesn't work, at a paying job, but I consider her contributions to the household just as valuable as the income I provide.
Yes there are times when we discuss spending and I encourage her to be frugal. I practice the same spending habits I expect her to practice.
Money is limited, but we are not broke. Perhaps you can find ways to supplement your household income. Lori used to babysit, and I told her that her babysitting money was hers to spend however she wanted. She was always good about how she spent money. Yes she would buy things that she wanted but also things that she needed and gifts for her close friends and family, not always only thinking of herself.
It is a shame that your Hubby hasn't learned how to treat you right. You want that I should teach him? I'll teach him but good!
what they up there ^^ have said
Even when my wife didn't work and we were broke, I never made her feel (or at least I hoped I didn't) that she needed my permission to spend money. Yeah, it's common sense if it's a large chunk of change. Our basic rule is, anything under $20 just go get it. Over that, at least inform the other one.
It would depend on the car. My wife wants a specific car, that we just can't afford. I did tell her if she wants that specific car, she'll have to save up her money to get it, and that I wouldn't pay for it. I see it as me demanding she buy me a Harley. But I did buy her the vehicle she has now (and her last 3 lol).
It is the opposite in my home. My wife is the boss and I do everything she says. However, she is nice about it. I ask permission to buy things. I do lots of house work for her. My wife is nice, but your husband sounds mean and unfair. Sorry you are going through that.
The nursing bra was ridiculous.
I could tell you more about me and my wife, but this is too public. lol