December 21, 2011
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What should I do?
My mom asked me, last week sometime, if we wanted to kind of split Christmas shopping for the kids, the cousins. My husband and I agreed to it. I specifically asked him BEFORE I answered and he agreed it was a good idea. See, one family has almost 4 kids (she's still pregnant, about two weeks overdue, with baby #4), the other family, like us, only has 1. So, we're shopping for 5 kids and that can be a little expensive. lol
My mom is buying for the boys. And we're buying for the girls. I just like buying for girls. Then we're just all putting our names on all 4 gifts. Anyway, that's two a peice and then, when the baby comes, who knows. We're meeting with them on the 26th. I asked my husband how he wanted to do the shopping, because we have grocery shopping to do too. His response was that he wasn't expecting to have to buy an alternator and we did a $300 pay day advance to buy it, which means $300 is taken out of our paycheck this next time, plus the fee, and this is our small check. So, he was going to let me be just as stressed as him (yes, he said that) and not answer me yet, because he didn't know if we could truly buy for them or not.
Well, goody. Because here's the thing. i'm pretty sure no one is like us, waiting till the last minute to buy gifts and they've probably already purchased Bri's gifts. I'm not going to go and not buy anything, and have all of them buy for our child. That's not fair. And my mom only bought for the boys, so what's she going to do? That pretty much screws us all and that's not right. it's not like we have to spend a ton of money, my mom spent $14 total on the boys. I already feel bad enough that we're splitting this, because I don't think any other family is splitting costs, but I'm sure they aren't spending that much, either. I don't know.
So, now what should I do? If I just cancel, they may have already spent money. If I don't, and we don't get anything, everyone's going to be mad. So what's the point of going? I'm sure he'll sing a different tune when we're shopping, but I was pretty irritated with him for saying what he did.
So, I got on our bank account and did a little budgeting. First of all, I added up all our "expenses" and then added up how much we got paid the last two paychecks. Um, we should DEFINITELY have some left over, but why don't we? Yeah, I don't know either. Except that when he eats fast food and goes to movies, THAT ADDS UP. Holy cow. He spent $26 in a couple days on food and movies. Um, that's a lot for a just two days! And yet I get blamed. *shakes head*.
So, I'm making a new budget and we're going to stick to it. He doesn't think I help? Well, I've tried this before and, obviously, we're not sticking to the budget and I DON'T have a debit card, I DONT' spend money AT ALL! Grr.
Anyway, That's the little predicament I'm in. I'm sure it will work out for good, though. I hope. Otherwise, I'll be pretty angry. And next year, this crap isn't happening, bum car or no bum car. Good grief.
Comments (9)
Writing a budget is the easier part...sticking to it is much harder if your hubby is like mine
Sticking to a budget is so hard, but so rewarding at the same time. You can do it! And it's very unfair that he blamed you for it.
Sticking to a budget is very easy for myself but dh like yours, forgets to pack his lunch and buys etc. I finally took out a CC for him it has x amount on it (that i know no matter what we can pay off each pay) he gets that for gas and food. He spends it all guess who doesn't have gas for work or food
LOL
Good luck!
Wow. Even if I stayed home, I'd HAVE to have a debit card. lol But whatever works for you guys.
I think you should just try to buy cheap gifts. Good luck convincing him!
Whoa, what is he doing going to the movies without you? He should be waiting for them to get on dvd then spend $1 at Redbox. That's it. I'd also be pissed if he wasted that money & then wanted to get out of family obligations.
Jim isn't so great with money either & I have had times where I've chewed him out for it.
@MyTwoCentss - Well, his work is like ... a home health aide. Basically just a care giver, although he has taken classes on dispensing meds. Anyway, two of his clients like to go out and do things, like see movies or go out to eat. So, he goes along with it. We budgeted, a while ago, $100 a month. He then said, $100 a paycheck. I"m sorry, but $100 every two weeks for food and movies, totaling $200 a month? I don't think so. I think that's where our money is sucked down the drain, because my math clearly shows we SHOULD have money at the end of paying bills, by a couple hundred. I just have no idea where it goes and when I check the account, I'll see KFC, burger king, mcdonalds and then I also get worried for his health. I mean, I pack him lunches and stuff, but he still eats out and fast food all the time is NOT good for his cholesterol which has been high. ugh. it's a pain.
Weird. My mother-in-law was a home caregiver for older people. She never spent like that. I can see the clients wanting to get out & do things, but they need to do it with their family members, not their caregiver. That's JMO, I hope it's not perceived as rude. Also, $100 a month is very generous. I wouldn't have gone along with it myself. In fact, if it is truly the client who is instigating all of the spending, then it is technically a part of his job & so the job should be the one paying for all of it. If an employee is required to attend a meeting across the country, the company/boss is the one paying the travel, lodging & food fees. So it should be the same here. He needs to learn to say no or say that they need to be paying for it. Again, sorry - I just know what it is like to struggle financially (we still do) and so I have strong opinions on things.
I hope that the spending gets reigned in so that you all can breathe easier.
@MyTwoCentss - Oh, your opinions are spot on with mine, lol. None of what they do is necessary, except maybe bus trips and even those he has to pay for. If it's part of the "care plan", then the company needs to give money for it. But, bus trips are just quarters, so they probably don't think that's a big deal. But, yeah, I told him he can go out to eat, but just not eat. Eat his lunch before they go, not eat, but let the consumer eat. I guess, he just told me this today, he treats one to dinner out and a movie every friday. *facepalm*. The company does pay most of the gas, though. That's a good thing and another reason why I'm so confused on where all of our money goes. I know he overpays on the credit card. He wants to knock out our debt, the problem is that, even though he pays a good amount on it, he pays it late every month. That alone is racking up late fees, even if it is only a few days and the money there just goes straight into wells fargo's pockets and I HATE that thought. Ugh.
@Megabyyte - I feel you with banks. We don't have credit card debt, but we've had plenty of our money go to banks for overdrawn fees. It's ridiculous. I hate banks.
I understand the feeling of wondering where your money is going. There are times we're good about our spending and even then our money disappears. It is so disheartening.
Hopefully soon both of our families will be less stressed financially.
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