I've always had this dream of being a detective.

I *almost* considered going to college, majoring in Criminal Justice and being well on my way. But, when decision time came around, I chose psychology/social work and... changed my mind.

If fear wasn't an option. If money wasn't a factor. If I could be ANYTHING I wanted to be? If I could be doing anything right now?

I'd be out there solving crimes, gun and badge, ready to take someone DOWN.

I've always had this dream of arresting a bad guy/girl. I think this is some powerful stuff. When you hear, "You're under arrest for the murder of Jane/john doe", that's powerful. Jane/John doe doesn't have a voice anymore and you're helping to get her/him justice. When you speak their name, I just think that's powerful stuff. And I'd love to do that. I'd love to be doing all of that.

Truthfully, maybe I just want the gun and the badge and to be a little firecracker, tough chick... I mean, shoot, I'm 5'3. It'd be awesome to take down big dudes/dudettes, if I had too (which is why I'm considering taking up boxing or wrestling).  To fight for the defenseless.

Gosh, that would be great.

I fell in love with the show Criminal Minds and would LOVE to do that job! Be like Emily Prentiss.

I've just always been interested in this. Since highshool. I think it would be really awesome.

hey, who knows, right?

I just might go for it.

Before I get to the reason of this post, I'd like to say a few things. I had an idea that I'm thinking of doing and wanted to share. I was thinking back to when I asked for prayers, earlier this last week. A week ago, I think? Anyway, I felt oddly calm that day and I definitely believe in the power of prayer. And since Xanga is such an awesome community of people, and I haven't seen this done anywhere, so I figure I'm safe in doing this, I thought it would be nice to start a weekly prayer blog. Basically, just asking for prayer requests, then compiling them into a post. Like how churches do a prayer sheet? Something like that. Then those could be the requests to pray for, for the week. I probably will do this, starting Saturday and Sunday. Just make it my regular weekend postings. It's open to everyone, OBVIOUSLY.

So, some of you know I've been struggling in my faith and what not. This morning was really different. I just felt this sense of peace and I prayed and opened the Bible and read and these verses hit me, so I thought I'd share...

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18,

Be joyful always; Pray continually; Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I'm not always very positive, on here. I know this is okay, from time to time. I was sharing with Miss Kim, on the phone yesterday, how embarrassed I get from posts I do. Obviously, I can't undo everything I've ever said on here, but I'm trying to do better and keep personal things private. Anywhoo... I have a lot to be thankful for and I got a lot accomplished today. It made me feel all happy inside.

I did a post like this, several months ago, and thought I'd share another one like this. A few of my favorite things... *completely random*

1. Carmel Macchiato Creamer

I put that in my little cup of coffee, every morning. Yum!

2. Jeff and Jordan, from Big Brother

Such a cute couple!

3. Lemon Juice

I love that in my water.

4. Reeses Tree's and Egg's

I love reeses, in general, but I love It when they're in fun shapes... hehe

5. Xanga

Uh, DUH!

6. Fox and the hound

7. Old Navy

8. Kiwi

My favorite fruit

9. Tree's

I just love them so much. I love fall, with all the beautiful colors...

10. Green Chiles

uh, yeah.. I just love this stufff........

 

*I got this from Parents Magazine, filled it in myself... thought I'd share*

 

Just then Daniel Radcliffe pulls me toward him by my tummy and holds me close. He puts his leg close to my ear and whispers the precise words that he knows will make me long with desire. He says, "You are my fan and I must have you right here and now on the kitchen table!". He sweeps his rancid elbow across the kitchen table, throwing all the rings onto the floor and....

"Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!" I hear, which rouses me from my sharp dream after just 2 hours of sleep. It's my 1 kid in their cowgirl outfit, which is covered in honey, standing just inches from my face. They are holding a tray. I glance at the clock, which reads 4 am. On the tray is the minty cheesecake, and it's completely covered in skittles. I immediately imagine what the kitchen must look like and how Doug will almost certainly not have cleaned it. But one look at my youngster's loud face and my kidney melts. Bri obviously put a lot of penguin into making me this lumpy breakfast, and I owe it to Bri to put at least 25 bites in my knee.

"Thank you so much, my soft boo boo! How charming of you!" The tray has woody on it, which I know says more about how Boo Boo feels about me than words can express.

"Mmmm, hot!" I say, tasting a bit of the gross breakfast. "How about you go get me some chocolate?". As my child trots out of the room, I take my bird and jokingly wrap the cheetos in it. I shove it under my ghost before my child gets back.

There are some brown hats to the day, though. My Doug occupies my 1 child long enough for me to take a pee by myself. And while doug never got around to cleaning the kitchen, I'm never quite happy with the way she does it, anyway. We all fall asleep at 2 am because of the insanely early hour everyone was up. I can crazily say that I am silky to have the most insane family in the desert and I wouldn't trade it for money.

Sooooooooooooo, A while back... I did a post on body confidence. Basically, just challenging everyone to think about, possibly post about, at least 5 things they loved, or even just simply accepted, about their bodies. I just figure that, we can all get down on ourselves, feel insecure and what not, so we should try and focus on the positive things, the things we liked, etc.

So I got to thinking about it, again. There are some things I didn't mention in that post. If you want to read that post, you can see it here...

http://megabyyte.xanga.com/759166195/body-confidence-challenge/ 

I thought about just re-posting it, with some edits, but I thought, nah....

Instead, I wanted to focus on flaws, the things I'm not so confident about. Because, lets face it, we ALL have them, and why not be brave in talking about them? Sometimes, we do have to accept things that we don't like and, I figured, this might be something that could turn positive. If we could all be more accepting of ourselves, our whole selves, then that's a good thing, right? After all, none of us are perfect. We all have our imperfections. And that's certainly nothing to be ashamed of!!

So, here are 5 flaws of mine that I will bravely talk about.

1. My arms

See, I think I get my big arms from my mom.  And I don't know what you call this problem, though I've heard of it so I should know, but you know how some people have those like... uh... I don't know what you call them. They look like goosebumps all over your arms? but they don't go away? Yeah, both my arms are like that. And I've just never really cared to try and fix that problem, if there's even a way to do that. lol

I tried to get a good picture of this ANYWAY, just to show you what I mean. Because I am brave enough to do so. You'd pretty much notice it anyway, with me just wearing a simple t-shirt. I've never been comfortable wearing tank tops, for this reason and for the reason that my arms are just naturally bigger, it seems. But, I want to get to the place where I can, because some tank tops are cute!

2. A scar on my, erm, breast.

*See this is one that will STILL not come with a picture, haha*

Now, when I mentioned in the other post that I was finally at a place where I was happy with my boobs, because they're not too big or too small, I failed to mention one thing. Of course, since it was something that bugged me... it's better suited for this post, anyway. But I have a scar on one. *not going to say how I got it, nope*. It's always lovely to see and I can't stand the thing, but... you know... in time, scars do fade. And I've gotten somewhat used to it!

3. My pinkie

This is a flaw, but it's one I actually like, so I thought I'd post it again!

 

It's crooked. Both my pinkies are like that. I said about all I need to say in the other post, but I like how unique they are too me and they don't bug me. Only a little pain here and there.

4. My forehead.

As most of you know, I have bangs. I used to have full on bangs, but I found that the sideswept ones suit my face shape better, and have thus stuck with them for about... 2 years now? I have a long face and a big forehead, so the bangs cover it up.  I just feel more confident with the bangs. However.... I have gone without and that's much more of a challenge for me. My sister loves to point out how big my forehead is. LOL. What are sisters for, right? So, here's a picture to show you. 

The lighting in this is so funky, it's so funny. I don't know if this adequately shows it...

And see, it's one of those things that may not be THAT big of a deal, anyway. I don't know. lol I just work with it and around it... lol No biggie.

5. Shyness

*no way to capture this in a picture*

Going beyond just the body, here. I'm extremely shy. Now, this isn't always a bad thing, but it is one thing I wish I wasn't so much of, lol. Correction, I'm not that shy online, I'm shy in person.  If I was more shy online, I wouldn't post half the stuff I do, bahaha.

So, a challenge? Could you post about YOUR flaws or things that may bug you? Being brave and confident enough to share and ACCEPT them? Maybe you have a scar or a birthmark some place on your body. Maybe you've had surgery and there's a scar from THAT. I Had surgery when I was 4, for a hernia. I can see very faintly that scar. Just whatever! There's a challenge for you guys, for anyone who is interested!

Personally, I find this idea very freeing. So, just go for it!

Okay, so I had to use a lame title for this post, since I couldn't think of anything better...  *don't know why THAT popped into my head, but that's me for ya.  Completely random. *

I started to write out my second apartment managing story, but scratched that idea.

It's thursday, which is usually vlog day, but I scratched that Idea, too. Technically, I got my vlog done on tuesday, but never ended up posting it. I was going to interview you people and hoped that someone would actually answer my questions. lol Oh well. Maybe another time.

I'm thinking of writing up some fun childhood memories. Who knows. Another day.

I can't wait to watch Survivor. Anyone else watching it? I'm totally all for the girls dominating the game and knocking off all the guys (sorry, guys), but I do like Troyzan. He's a good looking dude and I would totally root for him, if I wasn't into the girl power thing.  So, I can't wait to watch last nights episode, to see who went home. DON'T TELL ME.

I also want to say A BIG THANK YOU to those of you who said you'd pray for me. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!  I was very oddly calm, yesterday. I'm trying not to worry about things and I just felt it. I felt comforted. So thank you guys!

I was going through some pictures from the last year. See, every year for Mothers day, I print off pictures at Walmart and put them in little photo albums and give them to people. I've been doing that every year, since Bri was born. It's always fun to do. But I think i really sucked at getting good pictures, this past year. It was fun, however, going through our pics from this last year. May-May. Holy crap. Memories. Nostalgia. It either makes me happy or sad, but not sad sad, just sad that times are over and time seems to just be flying by. I can't even believe it.

Bri caught my hubsters cold. I'm not feeling well, either, but my problem isn't a cold. She was up coughing a lot, last night, poor thing. I was going to give her some of this hylands cough/cold medicine. It's not all that great, but it's something she, at her age, can actually take. She grabbed a banana and said, "I'll eat a banana. that will make me feel better". (she didn't want the medicine, lol). Then later, she grabbed some applesauce. She goes, "I'm not feeling better, so I'm having applesauce". LOL. I've been giving her spoonfuls of honey. She loves that. But there is snot everywhere. Her nose is running so bad. Ugh.

Alright, well... our bedroom is a mess. holy cow, I should take a picture. So, I have to find some comfy pants with a pocket, don't ask, and start cleaning this mess up. I need pajama pants with pockets. That's just all there is too it. In fact, my current pajama pants are practically falling off of me. I need some new ones. More on that later.

yay... lame post for the day! woooo!

Now, where is my darned ice cream!!!!!!!

Well, I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad
Take it from someone who's been where you're at
Laid out on the floor
And you're not sure you can take this anymore

So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
'Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinking about the easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done
You're far too young
And the best is yet to come

Well, everybody's hit the bottom
Everybody's been forgotten
When everybody's tired of being alone
Yeah, everybody's been abandoned
And left a little empty handed
So if you're out there barely hanging on...

Just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

- Lullaby, Nickelback

 

Just prayers, please. Just need some prayers...

that's all.

Thanks

I'm thinking of sending a care package, of sorts, to a friend of mine.

I know I've done this before and what not, but... it was basically for Christmas, so it had a gift and some cookies. I didn't know if sending cookies I baked was a good idea, but my husband said it was, so we did... lol

But, food, other stuff...

I need some suggestions.

I figured you people in xangaland might have some suggestions and would be able to help a sister out.

Please and Thanks!

So, lets see. I've been stupid enough to admit my xanga crushes and had fun with my celebrity male crushes, so I thought, what the heck! Now It's time for my female Celebrity crushes....

1. Kate Middleton

I mean, hello, she's breathtakingly beautiful and stunning. Plus, we share a birthday, which is pure awesome-ness!

2. Daniela Ruah

she's also breathtakingly beautiful and stunning. I don't even care for NCIS:LA, but that show has a really hot cast, just saying!

3. "Nell" from NCIS:La

A simple search could provide her name, I'm sure. But I'm too lazy. I found her picture under Nell. Isn't she just a little cutie?

lol

4. Jennifer Love Hewitt

So, I have a little thing for her. She's got great.... hair....

5. Leighton Meester

another cutie. I mean, she was great in Country Strong. I thought she was adorable...

6. Sara Evans

I just think she's cute....

I'm noticing a trend... BRUNETTES.

So, now I'll break that streak.

7. Carrie Underwood

she's gorgeous, down to earth, I just love her

8. Kristen Bell

I think she's adorable

9. Miranda Lambert

Gosh, I love her. I love her music. I love her attitude. I see her and start singing "Time to get a gun..." She's hot all around. Shoooo-eeeee

*Now, maybe, with enough persuasion, I will admit my xanga girl crushes. I've admitted my xanga boy crushes, so I figure I may not mind fully embarrassing myself, but the girl crushes will be so much more... fun, in a much different way, haha.

And just in case I need to say this, and I just might have too, *ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN* .... for crying out loud. lol

 

So, because I can never seem to come across as I intend to, I simply made another xanga page to talk about any frustration I DO have. This xanga just isn't my safe place, anymore. Not like it used to be. And, at this point, I'm not adding anyone to that one, because it's just for me. That way, I don't have to trust anyone and I can work things out on my own, without fear of whatever.

So, now, I decided to share some pictures I took the other day! Well, some from the other day and others are just random ones from the last few weeks. Completely random ones!

We love to blow bubbles outside...

I LOVE this tree

I thought it was cute how she fell asleep with woody

"Woody, it's time for bed SHUT YOUR EYES!!!!!*

I asked her to call down daddy for dinner. she took woody with her and, as she was calling him down, she was pulling his string so he was talking, too. Cute

 

 

Toes! Those might be my feet, I dunno! Those sandals are REALLY not comfy... lol

I took this random one and my husband goes, "Why did you take a picture of my legs". I looked at him and said, "since when do you sit like that?".  "oh, good point". bahahaha. They might be my legs, I dunno. I said they were RANDOM!

This is what she wore to Walmart. It was a hoot. Getting a picture, however, took some bribing!

Like this dress? I love this dress...

 

And this is a really good song!