January 21, 2012
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Still working on the Confidence thing...
So, I'll just come out with it...
I got on the scale today, even though it's not a Monday. Clearly, my appetite has been jack diddly squat, lately, but I've been forcing myself to eat. I don't really know if it's just that my appetite really is gone or if I'm just learning to eat very, very, very little?
Anyway, I've been feeling pretty good and, so, got on the scale.
I have lost 26 lbs. And this was weighing in AFTER I had already eaten breakfast.
The other day, I tried on a shirt that I haven't been able to wear for, well, a while. It fit. I felt so confident, because... I don't know. I just did.
So, I felt the same way today. After knowing I've lost 26 lbs, I just feel SO MUCH BETTER about myself. (not to mention my lovely and challenging 5 mile walks. Love them)
However, then, we went to a birthday/late christmas celebration with family, today.
Meh. Doug took pictures of me holding the babies (awww! Love them!) and I couldn't stand the pictures. Because I couldn't see the 26 lbs... at all.
And this is why I'm completely irrational.
At least I can admit it. Durrrrrrr, big changes. Big changes. I just HATE seeing pictures of myself and, in that sense, I still need the confidence. I've accepted *some* of my insecurities. I just have to keep in mind that this is me, take it or leave it and if someone else doesn't like it, screw them. lol I just need to be happy with myself.
Plus, I'm feeling a little... errr, bad about cutting off all my hair. Seems like everyone liked the long stuff. But, honestly, I do like it... it just took a little time to get used to. Because day 2, after cutting it all off, I regretted it. But I donated the hair, so it's not like I did it for nothing. I'm just going to grow it out even longer, next time! And I'm starting to like it. Who cares what everyone else thinks... (silly, right, it's just stupid hair! gosh, why do I have to be so stupid, err, scratch that, I can't be mean to myself)
meh.
People.
So, my confidence is still under construction, but I was still SUPER STINKING HAPPY, today, about my accomplishments (even if it does seem like my stomach is never going to be the same, thanks pregnancy, lol).
I'm still super stinking happy, anyway.
Comments (4)
First, hooray you for losing 26 lbs! That's quite an accomplishment. Second, hooray you for taking those challenging walks. No pain, no gain.
As for "confidence," just remember...you can chase a wild horse around a ranch all day, but once you finally catch it, the thing will be exhausted and useless. Why not, instead, just go about your business, and let it come up to you? ( I swear that makes sense in my head. There's even a valid and inspiring point there. But it's late so I get a waiver on this horrible, horrible attempt at making said point.)
You are doing great. Photos always make us look heavier.
@AgainstTheWind1 - That's really a perfect example, thanks! haha I'll just think about that example you just gave every time I start to feel down.
And thank you!
@TheTheologiansCafe - Thanks!
Yeah, I've noticed. Because what I see in the mirror and what I see in a picture are two different things. grrrr... haha.