February 3, 2012

• Rekindling a Friendship

  I've been learning, lately, that sometimes you've just got to put yourself out there. people will either like your or not, ignore you or talk to you, want to be friends or want to be enemies.  Meh. But, the risk is worth it, especially if the person likes you and wants to be friends.  I love making new friends. I consider myself a friendly person.

  So, here's the thing. I have this ONE friend that I can't stop thinking about. We were neighbors for several years. I remember the first time we met. We came home from church and my dad was on the porch and there were two kids playing in our sprinkler. She was 3 years younger than me, so I didn't really think we had much in common. But, we had a good friendship. Well, you know, it had it's ups and downs. You know how girls can be.  She was very needy. I was very independent. Shoot, I needed my alone time. She needed someone to play with. So, that created quite the drama between the two of us. But, we were still friends.

  Then, she moved away. Boo...

  Then...

  Well...

  Okay, so she was the other girl who my dad molested. So, that kinda became a big... barrier between us.

  Basically, she felt that I was mad at her for my dad going off to jail.

  I told her this was NOT the case, so we started talking to each other again and thought we'd be good "therapy" for each other. haha.

  Well, that didn't last.

  After I moved out of state, I did send her a letter to tell her how sorry I was for not always being a good friend and that I wanted another chance to make our friendship work.

  She never responded.

  Being the facebook stalker I am (hehe ), I looked her up, found her and... I let it go, for a long time. I didn't friend her.

  I just sent her a request the other day. We still live less than a mile from each other! I mean, really!  We never run into each other. Goodness.

  However, I just don't want to be that... remembrance for her. If she's doing fine, I don't want to come back in the picture, reminding her of the past and what my dad did to her. She felt she was to blame? yeah. Well, imagine how I FELT.  He was MY DAD. So, if she's fine, I don't want to rock the boat for her. At the same time, how can I really know without trying? So, I sent the request and am just patiently waiting.

  Maybe it'll be worth it, I just don't want to hurt her.

  I guess we'll see how this plays out.

  • 11:39 pm
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