December 31, 2013
the reality is, I have a hard time expressing things, so I'm not sure how much sense this will make.
Things trigger me. They trigger feelings and memories and stuff like that. Just today, I caught a part of a movie that ... well ... I dunno, It made me want to panic. And in my mind, I tried to tell myself... "It's not the past, this is the present and you're not being hurt".
But speaking of triggers... some PEOPLE can be triggers. And I feel absolutely terrible about that. because, I don't want to seem like a big meanie. My problems are no one elses problems. My feelings are not the responsiblity of anyone else and I feel like, in a way, I will take it out on them. I mean... I have two thoughts. I can just try and, well, "get over it", be as good of a friend as i can and just privately try and deal with my own issues. Or two, eliminate the people from wherever. But then I feel guilty. It's not like anyone is purposefully triggering me, it's my problem. But to be honest? I do better when I'm not exposed to things.
So, any thoughts on that?
As for my mission, well... I guess I'm two days in with two days of success. Sort of. It's kinda been hell. All the days before that, I fell flat on my ass. In some ways, I suppose.
2014 will, hopefully, be the year of walks! We didn't manage to do the Jingle walk (for arthritis) this month, but hopefully next year! And then March of Dimes is in April, relay for life in May, color run in june! Yuppp! Things to look forward to.
Happy New Year, Guys!