November 11, 2013
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Oh, to be a man...
When you're done with work, you can be as lazy as you want! Your work is done!
*For the record, I have held down a job WHILE caring for a newborn and taking care of our apartment. So I know!*
You never have to be worried about being fired from your job for being pregnant.
In fact, you never have to worry about being pregnant ever! That fear, you will just never know (and you also don't get to know the joys of it, which does suck for you)
You don't have to bleed out of your penis every gosh darn 28 days!
You can use a condom, which does not have side affects like "heart attack, stroke and blood clots!"
You can be as slutty as you want, and you won't be labled as a slut. In fact, you'll get a pat on the back and praised. Go you.
But my main thing is the lazy thing...
Funny thing, I've had some back pain recently. It's been pretty bad. So I was sitting on a heating pad and then all of a sudden one spot on my back got really hot and burned and then I checked it quickly and saw that it was smoking... Yeah, stupid thing was getting a hole burned through it. Thankfully, no fire. But still, burned my back. Anywhoo, I've been having back pain every day for the last several days...
Yet, my husband couldn't sleep well (even though he was asleep before i was) and therefore couldn't wake up with us and wanted to sleep in.
he also didn't want to get out in the rain to pick up our daughter from school.
I still would have to rake up the rest of the leaves in the yard...
We come home from our day out and I have to make dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, fold his laundry and put it away. And my back is killing me. Thanks!
And yay for me, my nightly routine has just been ruined because he's home.
I lost my space. I lost my time.
Oh yeah, and you men don't have to walk around with your boobs trapped in a thing they call a "bra".
*rolls eyes*. Of course, it is getting to that blessed time of year when we can wear coats and that can conceal that ... The other day, I went shopping without a bra on! best thing ever!
And it would really be nice to be able to run at night, without the fear of gosh darn stupid rapists. Or go running in a park alone. Or whatever. but noooo, we should always have a buddy, because heaven freaking forbid that happen.
My dad can go eat nails.
Sorry... just letting out some frustration...
And yeah, my husband was again going off on how sex is mainly for procreation... In that case, I REALLY WANT TO BE A MAN. Being able to just have a bunch of kids and my only contribution to getting them here is an orgasm? Yeah, let me sign up for that please...
Comments (8)
well, just so you know...not all men are like your husband. sorry you got stuck with a lemon. hope you feel better soon.
Yeah! Sorry about the lemon!
Hey now... there's plenty of downsides too!
When it gits cold, yalls nipples git hard, and it's a turn on for men. When it's cold, our stuff shrivels up!
Yall can't get kicked in the nuts
you never have to worry about getting "it" caught in your zipper
we have condoms, yall have diaphrams
now that the comedy is out of the way, we ain't all like that. I get home from work, it's straight to soccer practice, and then I still make supper half the time (not complaining, we just take turns lol) I would think most of us also take on the majority of the household repairs and auto repairs for those that don't use mechanics.
You know, they have lemon laws, where you can trade your non-working one in for a better model lol
I hope the back pain eases up for you. I know it can suck. I hope you can get a non-malfunctioning heating pad. I cringed when I read that your current one burned you. In the meantime, perhaps acetaminophen can help alleviate some of the pain.
Being a man has its ups and downs. Er I mean sometimes it's hard being a man... ummmm What I am trying to say is that, not all men find it difficult getting up in the morning!
For back pain I find relief by hanging from a tree branch by my arms for a few moments.... just let your back stretch out a bit and then do some gentle stretching flexing exercises, bending and twisting slowly with no weights, a hot shower and plain aspirin. I don't know if these things will help you , but it is worth a try.
@grim-truth That zipper thing really really hurts too.
You do make a point. Us men at times just miss it.